I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
