Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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