4 words: hood of his car
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
