Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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