what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
