carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
