I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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