There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he shaved USA in his pubs
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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