I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
