If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
