He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He felt like a one man threesome
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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