yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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