your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
