I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
