So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
