Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
