i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
