You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
