I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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