They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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