Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
