Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
