watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
