Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
