you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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