I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
