so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
