OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
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