Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
