her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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