he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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