Who did Billy Mays play for?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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