So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
smell my finger.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
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