They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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