I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
