areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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