why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
