I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
