I don't remember. Are we still dating?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
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Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
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We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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