I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
