I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
