I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
