She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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