she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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