Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
