..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
