I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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