You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
