guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
do nipples grow back?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
