need another drink. this is the easiest way
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
