They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
