Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Randomize