Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
