i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
