She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
