I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize