I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
