omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
