Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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