I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
