I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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