My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
