she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Sorry about my life...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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