She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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