one word: firstdatebathroomanal
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
he shaved USA in his pubs
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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