The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize