That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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