In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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