you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
