I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
