He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
